ROOTED IN FAITH

What does spiritual leadership in the home look like?

A lot of women can feel put off by the notion of allowing their husbands to lead. Does this fall in line with feminism? With gender equality? Does God not see men and women as equal? Well, yes. He does: 

‘There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus‘ – Galatians 3:28

However, equal does not mean ‘the same’. Men and women have different roles. Different does not mean one is better than the other. It is just different! And that is ok. Maybe another time I will write on this in more depth, and in how the following passage from Ephesians does not take away from equality of the sexes. It is not against or dishonouring to women. It does show how hugely important the identity of being a man and the identity of being a woman is. God made us who we are, with clearly defined roles. And confusion in this is a fundamental spiritual attack on marriage and family.

‘Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless’. – Ephesians 5:22-27

But one thing at a time. For today, I want to highlight the honourable role that is given to the man of the house. I want to show what that looks like in practicality. And I want to encourage women of God to graciously allow, enable and actively support their husbands in this role of servitude, that has been entrusted to them by our heavenly Father. In doing so, we benefit. The children benefit. The whole family benefits. Doing things God’s way, only leads to blessing. I know this, first hand.

A man who is the spiritual leader in the home:

1. Prays with and for his family

He prays blessing over their lives. He is dedicated and consistent in praying for the future of his children. He prays for their salvation, for their calling in Christ, for their future families. He prays protection over his family. He leads with prayer as the first port of call when there is a concern, or a challenge, or a season of difficulty for anyone in the family. He demonstrates to his children that as their earthly father, he relies on our heavenly Father to protect us and supply our every need. His household is secured and surrounded with a hedge of protection, due to faithful prayer.

2. Leads with integrity

In every situation, this man upholds a character of integrity. This is most demonstrable when the man of the household chooses to obey God’s word as opposed to relying on wordly or secular solutions or ways of living. These may be more commonplace, but are not necessarily in alignment with God’s ways. This man is willing to and actively chooses to do what is right as opposed to what is easy. Even if this option appears foolish to the outside world. He leads with integrity, therefore displaying the characteristics of righteousness to his family. He shows his children that it is ok to be different, as we are ‘in the world, but not of the world’.

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you” – John 15:18-19

‘Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will’ – Romans 12:2

3. Points his family to God’s word

This blog post was actually inspired due to my husband taking time out of his day at work to send me a Psalm that directly spoke to a situation he was counselling me through last night. This Psalm gave me encouragement, insight into how I should proceed, and hope for the future. The spiritual leader in the home, led me to the ultimate Counsellor. The spiritual leader in the home has a responsibility to lead his family to Christ again and again, and to demonstrate that God’s word is final, is a lamp unto our feet, and can guide us no matter what the situation.

‘Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.’ – Psalms 119:105

4. Holds his family to accountability

‘Wives submit yourselves to your husbands’. Be humble, and allow God’s design to work as it should. The man of the house who is actively leading as Christ would, holds his wife and children accountable. When my husband lovingly holds me accountable to thoughts or mindsets or sinful ways in which I am approaching things e.g. lack of forgiveness, lack of gratitude, etc., it is a moment of humbling. But I choose to listen and not oppose him at that moment. Why? Because I know he is demonstrating spiritual leadership and walking in the role God has ordained for him.

It may be difficult to be held to account, but ultimately it shows me that I can trust this man to help me better myself and become more Christ-like. I can trust this man to do the same for our children. And I can trust that this man is serious in leading our family in the way that ultimately benefits the family as a whole.

A man who lovingly holds his family to account, with the aim of leading them closer to Christ, is a priceless treasure. Women of God, do not overpower, oppose, or restrict this act of spiritual leadership. It is one of the most important yet at times difficult attributes of servitude, that your husband must learn to lead on. Seek wisdom. Submit yourself to his leadership. Allow him to be the spiritual leader in the home. And watch your whole family reap the rewards.

Men of God, step forward in this calling. We are living in times where it is more important than ever to not only walk in our God -given roles according to whether we are male or female, but to also ensure that this is demonstrated to our children. They need to know with certainty, who they are called to be in Christ, and what that looks like. Look at Paul’s letter in Ephesians to see what that leadership should look like. It is loving, not prideful. It is gentle, not admonishing. Step forward in your calling, men of God.

‘As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.’ – Ephesians 4:1-3

Love, Abbie x